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The Professor's Song

Song info

"The Professor's Song" (2006)

"The Professor's Song" Videos

The Professor's Song Tom Lehrer
The Professor's Song Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer - Lobachevsky (with lyrics) '1953
Tom Lehrer - Lobachevsky (with lyrics) '1953
The Professor's Song (long version)
The Professor's Song (long version)
Tom Lehrer - The Vatican Rag - with intro
Tom Lehrer - The Vatican Rag - with intro
Tom Lehrer - The Subway Song
Tom Lehrer - The Subway Song
Tom Lehrer: A Christmas Carol (studio solo) (1959)
Tom Lehrer: A Christmas Carol (studio solo) (1959)
Tom Lehrer - Who's Next - with intro
Tom Lehrer - Who's Next - with intro
Tom Lehrer - National Brotherhood Week - with intro
Tom Lehrer - National Brotherhood Week - with intro
Tom Lehrer: The Irish Ballad (concert live) (1960)
Tom Lehrer: The Irish Ballad (concert live) (1960)
Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango
Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango
Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango - with intro
Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango - with intro
Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park
Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park
Tom Lehrer - Wernher von Braun
Tom Lehrer - Wernher von Braun
Tom Lehrer - That's Mathematics
Tom Lehrer - That's Mathematics
Tom Lehrer: Clementine (studio solo) (1959)
Tom Lehrer: Clementine (studio solo) (1959)
Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol
Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol
Tom Lehrer - The Elements - LIVE FILM From Copenhagen in 1967
Tom Lehrer - The Elements - LIVE FILM From Copenhagen in 1967
Tom Lehrer - We Will All Go Together When We Go
Tom Lehrer - We Will All Go Together When We Go
Tom Lehrer - Fight Fiercely Harvard
Tom Lehrer - Fight Fiercely Harvard
Tom Lehrer - New Math (Animated)
Tom Lehrer - New Math (Animated)

Lyrics

To "if you give me your attention."
If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am.
I'm a brilliant math'matician - also something of a ham.
I have tried for numerous degrees, in fact I've one of each;
Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach.
I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it's true,
And I can't see why it isn't all as obvious to you.
Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned,
Yet everybody tells me that I'm hard to understand,
And I can't think why.

My diagrams are models of true art, you must agree,
And my handwriting is famous for it's legibility.
Take a word like "minimum" (to choose a random word),
This was performed at a blackboard, and the professor wrote:
////////////////
For anyone to say he cannot read that, is absurd.
The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year,
Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear,
And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure,
Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure,
And I can't think why.

Consider, for example, just the force of gravity:
It's inversely proportional to something - let me see -
It's r^3 - no, r^2 - no, it's just r, I'll bet -
The sign in front is plus - or is it minus, I forget -
Well, anyway, there is a force, of that there is no doubt.
All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out.
Yet students tell me, "i have memorized the whole year through
Ev'rything you've told us, but the problems I can't do."
And I can't think why!


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